I miss my BestFriend. He was like my other half. And when it ended a piece of me ended too. He was my little big brother. And I was never a perfect friend, I know I sucked at times and I’m sure I was annoying and mean. I feel like I always needed him more than he needed me at the start. I still feel like that. But growing up has a way of changing things. And I’ve always wanted to be a part of his life he was gonna be my maid of honor and I his best man. He knew everything about me and still loved me. I loved him. He was a HUGE part of my life and always came through for me. I fucked up more than once. But towards the end I don’t know what I did. I think that’s what makes it worse. I have no idea what I did to him. I tried so damn hard to fit into his life, I pushed and pushed and he didn’t budge. So when he said I didn’t know him anymore that hurt me so bad. I had tried to understand. I had tried everything to be in his life. And then I finally snapped and I couldn’t do it anymore. I never wanted to leave the friendship because I said I’d never leave. But I had no option. I had nothing left to give he literally sucked everything I had emotionally to give out of me. I was so done I shut down. And no one has gotten me out of it since. I have happy days and I still smile, and have fun. But there is part of me that holds back. Even just a tiny bit. I can’t get back that piece of me. It died the moment that friendship ended. Almost a year later and I still feel like it happened yesterday. Fuck. I never thought a person would make me feel this way. Especially someone I thought would be there with me until the bitter end.